fireflies

fireflies are magical to me.

i'd only see them once in a blue moon back home, and
when i moved to iowa, i would see them all the time.

it was on the July 4 weekend in 2011 that I, for the first time, saw
fireflies in abundance at my old home.

it was almost dusk - late at night in the northern U.S., and
you could just start to see stars in the sky.

i was outside after a pretty tough few days,
this one in particular including me yelling for my dad to spit out a piece of chicken because i witnessed him going into a petit mal seizure.  he did, and
he was fine, but
it was just another tell-tale sign of the end.

so that night i went outside on the deck and looked
down toward my backyard.
in circles and swoops flew little blinking lights,
and i stood there in a bit of awe.

there were dozens, maybe even fifty or more,
and they swirled around in a mystical kind of way.
I had never seen a single firefly in my backyard - not in the almost
twenty years my parents owned that house. 

then, the next evening,
after a fairly traumatic 4th of July trip to the
emergency room with my dad (that had nothing to do with fireworks),
we headed back to illinois before my dad took his last turn.

on the way back,
i kind of wished we got to see some fireworks, maybe because it was the holiday,
and maybe because i just wanted a little normalcy. 
this wasn't the fourth that i had expected,
which was what it was,
but what i couldn't have expected were the fireflies.

again, we saw them,
on the way back while driving on some country highways,
they bobbed up and down through tall grass along
the roadside ditches.

this probably won't make that much sense,
but i really felt God's presence with that;
i knew i was going into uncharted territory, even with 20+ years of
experiencing the effects of my dad's cancer.

the little thing like fireflies, which
almost never existed around my home,
showed me that something extraordinary would be present with me and my family.



... ... ...

What to Register for If You're ...

Title:
What to Register for If You're Getting Married
or
What to Register for If You're Pregnant
or
What to Register for If You're Really Ready for People to Buy You Stuff.

Answer:
Good quality things!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been thinking about this lately, and it was compounded by the following:
1. I have a student worker in my office who is getting married, saying he and his fiance are registering for less expensive things because they don't want their family and friends to have to spend beyond what they want.
2. I have a friend who will be moving soon who mentioned the cheap stuff they registered for when they got married, and how those things were going in the toss pile.

Just some advice from the brain that thinks about these things:

People often really want to do something special for you if it's a special occasion,
and if they don't want to give cash, they
will go for the registry list. 

Sure, it's good to put less-expensive items on a list for those who can't drop $100 -
heck, $50 -
on a gift, but
find things that are good in quality.

Some people very likely do want to get you something nice,
and most people probably don't want to get you something that's
going to bust once you've used it for a year or
two or
three.

Finally, when the cheap stuff does break, or
if the cheap stuff doesn't quite do the job you want it to do,
then I sure hope you have the ca$h to buy the
$15 measuring cups or the
$30 glasses or the
$50 food processor or the 
$75 set of silverware
$100 plates and bowls set or the
$200 high quality, soft, durable sheets or the
$300 vacuum or the
$500 pots and pans or the 
$1500 mattress or the
$3000 car repair.

No, you don't register for car repairs,
but the nice registry-eligible stuff you want
will take a BIG back seat
once married life/parent life/etc. really gets going!

a Happy Fathers Day

A happy Father's Day for my dad would have included the following:

Fishing
Hostess chocolate doughnuts and a Kwik Trip Coffee
Lunch - probably some kind of ham sandwich, made with butter - NOT mayo
Nap
Reading the paper
Sports TV - golf would probably be it.
Grilling
Burgers
Baked beans
Ruffles Chips
A beer - Michelob Light
Dinner with his wife and 2 daughters
Law & Order
                   and/or
                        a winning Twins game on TV
Talking about all sorts of things
Laughing
Hugs
No arguing between his two daughters for a day
Kisses from Mom
A good night's sleep  

skyfall

such a great song,
such great lyrics

TTC T: Facebook 1

This is called Facebook 1, mainly because I'm confident that I'll have other posts about Facebook in the future.

Anyway, it's hard going on Facebook when you're trying to conceive,
particularly when you find out that a friend is having a baby.

It could be his or her first,
second,
third,
fourth,
fifth,
....
that's about the top number I can remember for the amount of kids any of my friends have.

So, it's easy to become jealous, bitter, and calloused toward these friends.

It's also even easier to become jealous, bitter, and calloused toward God.

Finally, it's easiest to become sad, discouraged, and dismayed - none of which are bad, but
none of which are actually good.

So I've learned to
a. say "congrats!"
and
b. avoid FB in the daytime

Why?

a. babies are wonderful, they are gifts from God, and they are worth celebrating!

b. moms post more in the daytime, and my work productivity tanks and my thighs start to spread when I get sad.

It's true. 

Where I would be

I have today off, and I've done just about
NOTHING
so far!

Well, I have washed two loads of laundry and
dried one,
so I'm getting somewhere but nowhere fast.

So,
let's just say I had the following:
a. no obligations
and
b. a good wad of cash

With such things, I would take
a. my husband
and
b. myself
to somewhere warm
somewhere tropical,
somewhere with a beach,
and somewhere my expired passport wouldn't matter.

I'd go to any of these places:

San Juan, Puerto Rico

The U.S. Virgin Islands

Hawaii!

That is where I would be.

Favorites.2

I was looking over my blogs from the last 3 years, and boy,
writing was a lot easier way back when, huh?! 

I don't know what really to write, and I
am dealing with this thing where I just don't feel like going to bed even though I'm so,
dang tired!

Meh, perfect time for rambling, huh??? :)

Here's some favorites of mine lately, in a "as it comes to me" order:

- helping my husband run for the grad. student VP of Student Life position at TIU - so fun!
- daffodils popping up everywhere
- leaf buds (whenever those things show up)
- classy and feminine dresses
- lace [almost] anything

- Contemplating Arminianism
- "Rick Steves Europe"
- "Keeping Up Appearances" (on Amazon Prime/PBS/interwebs?)
- Spring, when it happens
- "The Amazing Race"
- Violets
- Safron flowers
- Trinity Wives Fellowship
- seeing babies smile
- conversations with kids
- not moving (residences, that is)!
- vacation
- Genesis, I & II Samuel, Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Solomon, Matthew, John, Romans, 1 Corinthians, Philippians, James, Revelation. No, I'm not reading all of those right now...actually, I've been in Mark this semester and not much else.  Thanks TWF leadership!
- Haircuts at Aveda
- $20 coupons at Aveda
- Rivers
- Gardening
- Sporadic capitalization in lists
- Dragonflies
- fresh sheets
- letters
- fonts
- Our Victoria Secret shopping bag-patterned couch.  Yes, it's a real thing.
- The faithfulness of God
- the afghan my Grandma B. made me long ago
- good lip balm
- the games Pandemic, Ticket to Ride, and Agricola
- the games of football, baseball, basketball, tennis, soccer, competitive swimming, running...etc.
- chocolate
- dry wine
- the beach
- seeing friends
- seeing family
- home
- love
- Love.

TTC T: National Infertility Awareness Week

It is rough being infertile.

Second only to the pain caused to both me and my husband when we are sans baby is the feeling of being totally and utterly alone.

"Oh, you're not alone."

Of course I know we're not actually alone, but try to comfortably explain your feelings to a room of beaming new moms.  That's what alone feels like, to be sure, regardless of your or anyone else's intentions.

Try explaining your feelings if you're in a room of beaming new and 2nd-or-more time moms, especially if you've already had one baby, and boy oh boy, prepare for looks of total confusion!

But check this out, it's National Infertility Awareness Week.

Call me a hermit when it comes to publicly talking about this, but I had no clue that
this whole kind of week existed.

So, if you're out there, and I do mean this to
the few people who stumble upon this blog by habit,
let me know if what you think about this week, if you know anything about it at all!

And no - that is not some idle invitation.  :)  Say something if you want! 
 

Yum 1 - Baked Eggs

Baked Eggs.  It's savory, simple, and scrumptious. 















Before I post this recipe, I just wanted to say that I'm considering shifting completely back to Feisty - Like I ought to be.  My blog isn't uploading to other people's lists so easily, as far as I can tell from the bit of research I've done.  Additionally, there is already another "warrior wives" blog, and while they do not talk at all about military things, fighting against the hurt cause by experiencing infertility, or most of which I want to write about, I know that our blogs could get confused and I want to find a respectful way to make us distinct.  Also, I'm going through a lot of "blogger's block" right now, so that doesn't help. 

Anyway, here goes this recipe!

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen, because I didn't have enough people for the full recipe (4-6) or leafy greens (1.5 pounds!).

Baked Eggs with Hollandaise Sauce - Serves 2

This is super easy, guys, and even if you've never maid hollandaise (I hadn't!), you will be able to whip this up, no problem. 

Baked Eggs

• 3 oz or a half-bag of baby spinach

• 1 small onion
• 1 T. of Butter, plus more for baking dishes
• 1 clove minced garlic
• Pinch of salt and pepper
• Dash of nutmeg
• 1/4 c. 2% or whole milk, or 2 T. of half & half or heavy cream

• 4 eggs

Hollandaise Sauce

• 5 Tb melted (but not very hot) butter
• 1 egg yolk
• 1-2 t. lemon juice
• a little salt and pepper (not sure if this is usually included, but it happened)
• Dash of hot sauce, or, if you don't have that, a good pinch of cayenne if you don't have

1. Chop the spinach into "ribbons," as in vertical strips.
2. Rinse the spinach and then throw half of it it into a pan, wet, on medium-high to wilt it.   If you use baby spinach, this will take about 2 minutes, 4 or 5 with regular.
3. Once it's wilted, take it off the heat and get rid of the excess liquid that is in the spinach.  I did this by putting it into a small strainer and pressed it with a spatula.
4. Chop the onion, melt the 1 Tb. of butter in a pan on medium, and sautee the onions until they are soft and golden brown, stirring frequently.
5. Add the garlic to the onions and stir for just under a minute, then add the salt, pepper, and nutmeg and stir again until all incorporated.
6. Add the spinach and mix it with the onions, et. al.  Add the milk/cream and mix together completely. Remove from the heat.
Note - if you're using milk, let it thicken.
7.Heat your oven to 375.
8. Put half of your mix into one buttered baking dish.  This could be a ramekin, but I also have some high-lipped, flat bottom bowls that I used.  After the mix is in the two ramekins and flattened out, crack 1 or 2 eggs over each.  My bowls are pretty wide and flat, so 2 worked perfectly. 
9. Add a little salt and pepper to the top if you like.
10. Put these both into the oven on the middle rack for 15-18 minutes until the whites are just set but the yokes are still soft.

Hollandaise
1. While the eggs bake, melt the butter for about 20 seconds on full power in the microwave (I did this in a small liquid measuring cup for easy pouring).  When the time is up, take the butter out and stir it until it is all melted.  Don't let this boil.
2. Crack 1 egg and separate it from the yoke.  Put the yoke in a blender with the lemon juice.  Add a pinch of salt and pepper and a dash of hot sauce.
3. Start the blender on the lowest speed.  Slowly pour in a teaspoon of butter, then a little more than that, and then a steady stream until the sauce is thick and creamy.
4. Pour the sauce into a serving dish and keep warm.  I did this by putting the serving dish into a little water bath.  No worries if it gets a little solid - just stir it again.
5. As soon as the eggs are done, pour about half of the sauce onto each egg dish, or as much as you would like.

Serve with toasted bread (I toasted a sliced-up bun in the oven while the eggs were baking).

Enjoy! 

TTC T - Wheatgrass

from: Wikipedia Commons

Trying to Conceive (TTC) Tuesday (T):
Wheatgrass - 
a super food and fertility booster?

Ah, super foods.

Really, what is a superfood, anyway?
and who decides what foods get the elevation to the status of "super?"

While you go and Wikipedia that for me,
let's consider wheatgrass.


For someone trying to conceive (TTC), there are likely no shortage of suggestions you've heard before.

I have a natural-food, natural-meds, natural-almost-everything-loving mom-in-law. 
She read once that wheatgrass may help boost fertility, and I paid attention to the suggestion but never acted on it. 

It's pretty clear that a plant so pungent, brightly green, and...interesting-tasting must be good for you, right?  That, and all of the nutrients in it must help with overall health, including restoring the body's pH balance.  For more information, check out the two articles below:

Live Strong Article | E-How Article

I'm thinking of taking the plunge myself, particularly because it is so good for you more so that it might boost fertility.  I say that because I think that it may be better to approach this with overall health in mind rather than some kind of quick-cure for the mystery that is infertility. 

So here's my question to all you google-searching people who've landed here:
If you've tried wheatgrass before, what was your experience?  Would you ever try it?