Thursday, May 3, 2012

"My weakness I feel, I must finally show"




Hit play and then read, please.

Sorry for the inevitable 15 seconds of advertising,
which probably/almost absolutely happened - this is likely the only
legal copy of this song on YouTube.


--- --- ---


There's nothing like a tough day in infertility land.
Well, actually,
there's nothing like a tough day in infertility land when
more reminders of what you're missing are appearing
all
over
the
place.


The "tough-ness" happens to be particularly difficult
during times of change.


--- --- ---


I've been quiet lately; it's something
that happens when there is a lot going on.
Here's what's all going on: 

1. We're taking a "break" from trying to conceive (TTC). It's produced as many challenges as it has relief.
2. I start a new job today. It's a needed and wanted change, yet out of my safe/comfort zone.
3. John leaves for 6 weeks very soon.
4. Grief is making a comeback, producing vivid memories of incredible clarity.

 --- --- ---

Truthfully, this year has been tough, and
there is a bit of a constant haze that has
kept me from understanding
how life should be, how I should be.

I have a lot of stuff to work on,
and most of what needs to be worked on
will be in God's strength and timing
(because
there's no way
I could fix all of this).

It's clear that I've gotten a little "better,"
but I would appreciate everyone's prayers
that these weaknesses I have
that I'll be beginning to show
will be uplifted with God's strength.




Tuesday, May 1, 2012

weeks - days - forever

6 weeks -
                 how long my husband will be gone for army chaplain training.
2 weeks (plus a day) -
                                   how long until he leaves
3 days -
              the length of his drill this weekend
Forever -
                 how long I'll love him (and him, me).