Something my dad always liked to do was tell stories.
After multiple brain surgeries and a reconstructive one on
the area where the surgeries took place,
he ended up having a hard time telling stories that weren't
what we had heard many times before.
I think that it was
a. the way he rebuilt relationship with people after he hadn't seen
them in a while,
b. the way he emphasized what was important to him,
and/or
c. the way he got through the effects the surgeries had on his
short term memory so that he could get to new stories or
thoughts that he had that day.
Also, he would forget a lot of things as his time on earth winded down,
and he was known for randomly switching conversation topics,
particularly when he got tired.
While this was difficult and frustrating for all of us at times,
it definitely also provided for some laughs - a necessary thing
when going through tragedy like this.
One of those times he did a topic switch-er-roo happened when
John asked Dad for my hand in marriage.
John drove down to PI from the cities one Monday afternoon.
He happened to pull in the same time as my sister. She looked
at John with two seconds of confusion, then started freaking out (of course).
She knew what was coming, and, apparently, so did my dad.
Ashley walked into the house and yelled, "Dad, John's here to talk to you!"
John headed upstairs where my dad was. They started shaking hands, and
my dad started "smiling like a fool" as soon as he got it. He didn't
quit shaking John's hand.
John asked dad, "So Gary, do you know why I'm here?"
Dad said "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" with his classic chuckle during
excitable situations.
"Well, I'd like to ask permission to marry your daughter," John told my dad.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." Dad replied, still grinning from ear to ear.
"Well, Gary, what do you think about that? Is that ok?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." Still happy, still shaking John's hand.
As they have this exchange, Ashley tells John to come downstairs
to talk about all the details of the proposal (she had to know!).
After a little while, Dad yells down, "Ashley, tell John to come up here when he's done."
John went upstairs, and Dad said, "You know, you didn't have to ask my permission."
"I know," John said, "but I felt it was the right thing to do, and I wanted to do it."
"Ok. Say - I need to show you something."
So at that point John was thinking that Dad was going to give him some kind of
advice about marriage or what Dad did to propose to my mom.
Instead, Dad proceeded to go to the kitchen,
open the freezer,
and say
"Check out these walleye I caught!"
Classic Dad. You never knew when a moment like that was going to happen next.
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Monday, August 29, 2011
3 weeks strong...minus my strength, [+] God's grace
It's been 3 weeks since Dad went Home,
and I'm thankful here's there, but sad that he's not here.
So here are some shots of things I/John and I/John, my mom, and I have done since that day.
and this weekend I'll have to figure out how to celebrate my own birthday.
not sure how,
but that's the case pretty much every year.
I'll miss my dad's traditional, goofily out-of-tune singing of
"Happy Birthday" to me over the phone,
but I'll be happy to pray to God that He tells my dad "thanks" for
being a part of bringing me into the world,
and to tell God "thanks" for
putting Dad into my life.
and I'm thankful here's there, but sad that he's not here.
So here are some shots of things I/John and I/John, my mom, and I have done since that day.
 | ||||
| A couple treats for Dad's birthday |
 | ||
| Lake Michigan for part of our anniversary |
 | ||
| Chicago Botanic Garden for my mom's birthday |
and this weekend I'll have to figure out how to celebrate my own birthday.
not sure how,
but that's the case pretty much every year.
I'll miss my dad's traditional, goofily out-of-tune singing of
"Happy Birthday" to me over the phone,
but I'll be happy to pray to God that He tells my dad "thanks" for
being a part of bringing me into the world,
and to tell God "thanks" for
putting Dad into my life.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
My Dad & Me, 1
Just some stories about me and my Dad.
Many of them are from when I was little;
that's when I got the most time with him.
I was an only child until I was 6, and my sister got my dad
all to herself for 6+ years after I left the house for college.
I'm sure we both have great stories from
when we got to both individually take our turns as "daddy's girl."
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
When I was little, my family and I (only 3 of us - it never got bigger than 4 until I married)
lived in a part of town that was near many things:
the grocery store,
the bowling alley my parent's owned,
the daycare I attended,
and the park.
My dad would take a break from fixing the machines at the bowling alley to
come get me from daycare for a walk to the park.
Our favorite things to do at the park
- well, at least my favorite things to do -
were going on the merry-go-round and
going on the swings.
I remember Dad making me sit in the middle of the
merry-go-round
to keep from flying off;
it thankfully worked, and I giggled like crazy every time
he pushed those rusty red and yellow bars.
Despite how fun the merry-go-round was,
the best was when he'd push me on the swing.
After Dad got his second or third surgery, he
told me a lot of the same stories, and one of those was
how I'd always tell him to swing me "higher, Dad, higher!" when
we did the swing - the farthest one on the right.
It is probably borderline-illegal to push a twig-like little girl
as high as my dad did, but man -
was that fun.
My favorite part about our trips to the park, though,
was the walks.
There was something about my dad having me hold onto his
two fingers instead of his hand
- so I could actually get a good grip -
that just felt so special, even for a little kid.
It's how I have little kids hold onto my hands today - learned from my dad.
Many of them are from when I was little;
that's when I got the most time with him.
I was an only child until I was 6, and my sister got my dad
all to herself for 6+ years after I left the house for college.
I'm sure we both have great stories from
when we got to both individually take our turns as "daddy's girl."
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
When I was little, my family and I (only 3 of us - it never got bigger than 4 until I married)
lived in a part of town that was near many things:
the grocery store,
the bowling alley my parent's owned,
the daycare I attended,
and the park.
My dad would take a break from fixing the machines at the bowling alley to
come get me from daycare for a walk to the park.
Our favorite things to do at the park
- well, at least my favorite things to do -
were going on the merry-go-round and
going on the swings.
I remember Dad making me sit in the middle of the
merry-go-round
to keep from flying off;
it thankfully worked, and I giggled like crazy every time
he pushed those rusty red and yellow bars.
Despite how fun the merry-go-round was,
the best was when he'd push me on the swing.
After Dad got his second or third surgery, he
told me a lot of the same stories, and one of those was
how I'd always tell him to swing me "higher, Dad, higher!" when
we did the swing - the farthest one on the right.
It is probably borderline-illegal to push a twig-like little girl
as high as my dad did, but man -
was that fun.
My favorite part about our trips to the park, though,
was the walks.
There was something about my dad having me hold onto his
two fingers instead of his hand
- so I could actually get a good grip -
that just felt so special, even for a little kid.
It's how I have little kids hold onto my hands today - learned from my dad.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
prelude: stories about Dad and, really, anything else.
It's hard for me to write when
it comes to really difficult topics -
topics that are difficult to express out loud or
even in my own thoughts.
So, as I prepare to embark upon documenting some things I want to remember
and things I hope others can use for their future struggles,
please pray that I find leading by the Spirit,
clarity of thought,
and ease of composition.
Because if there are a few things that are true about me, it's that
1. I don't think at all before I speak except for when I'm about to say the wrong things (extrovert),
2. When I speak aloud (and when I write) it's easy for nothing to be cognitively linear, and
3. When I write (not when I speak), it's hard for me not to let go of some of the rules
one learns when they study and teach in the field I have studied and taught.
I'm not going to write everything down here at this very moment, so
please forgive me for this obvious delay of the actual substance of my message.
I don't intend to draw you back through some blogging ploy.
I'm hoping that,
with this little prefix to something more substantial and ongoing,
I can find a bit of courage to keep writing.
If I don't write,
my thoughts become muted and dim.
If I don't write,
my memories become distant and indistinguishable.
So, the next time I write on here, it might be about something particularly important
or completely not,
but I will write about these current and upcoming struggles.
They are struggles I just don't want to forget.
it comes to really difficult topics -
topics that are difficult to express out loud or
even in my own thoughts.
So, as I prepare to embark upon documenting some things I want to remember
and things I hope others can use for their future struggles,
please pray that I find leading by the Spirit,
clarity of thought,
and ease of composition.
Because if there are a few things that are true about me, it's that
1. I don't think at all before I speak except for when I'm about to say the wrong things (extrovert),
2. When I speak aloud (and when I write) it's easy for nothing to be cognitively linear, and
3. When I write (not when I speak), it's hard for me not to let go of some of the rules
one learns when they study and teach in the field I have studied and taught.
I'm not going to write everything down here at this very moment, so
please forgive me for this obvious delay of the actual substance of my message.
I don't intend to draw you back through some blogging ploy.
I'm hoping that,
with this little prefix to something more substantial and ongoing,
I can find a bit of courage to keep writing.
If I don't write,
my thoughts become muted and dim.
If I don't write,
my memories become distant and indistinguishable.
So, the next time I write on here, it might be about something particularly important
or completely not,
but I will write about these current and upcoming struggles.
They are struggles I just don't want to forget.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Dad's Passing and Services for Him.
Hey all,
As many of you know, on Sunday night, at about 9:00 or so, my dad passed away.
After hearing testimonies from people whose loved ones struggled through unbearable pain and suffering, my mom, sister, husband, and I just wished and prayed for a peaceful passing. With my father having passed into a coma on late Saturday morning, we wondered if a peaceful passing was actually what we were going to get.
On Sunday night, after over 24 hours of Dad sleeping in his bed, we got what we had prayed for. His passing was so calm that it took me several minutes to realized what had happened.
Dad took several big breaths right before he passed, as if he was getting ready to go on stage of a big show or to step up to plate on the last out of the 9th inning. After his last breath went in and out of his body, his soul went into God's arms. He's now in Heaven, in a place where he will have a new body, a new life, a new home, and a new wonder and amazement of God himself. For that we can all be eternally thankful!
As these things go, and as my family knows all too well, any joy can and will be met with deep sadness. My dad was a fisherman, an army veteran, an advocate for our local public school, a vocal proponent of the benefits of apple cider vinegar, a loving husband, a survivor. I love my dad.
For those of you in the area, and those who simply want to know what's going on regarding my father's visitation and funeral, please check out the Caring Bridge site for details.
Thank you to EVERYONE who has prayed with us, spent time with us, and kept up with this whole journey. We couldn't have done it with out you, and we thank God that He put you all in our lives.
2nd Corinthians
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
As many of you know, on Sunday night, at about 9:00 or so, my dad passed away.
After hearing testimonies from people whose loved ones struggled through unbearable pain and suffering, my mom, sister, husband, and I just wished and prayed for a peaceful passing. With my father having passed into a coma on late Saturday morning, we wondered if a peaceful passing was actually what we were going to get.
On Sunday night, after over 24 hours of Dad sleeping in his bed, we got what we had prayed for. His passing was so calm that it took me several minutes to realized what had happened.
Dad took several big breaths right before he passed, as if he was getting ready to go on stage of a big show or to step up to plate on the last out of the 9th inning. After his last breath went in and out of his body, his soul went into God's arms. He's now in Heaven, in a place where he will have a new body, a new life, a new home, and a new wonder and amazement of God himself. For that we can all be eternally thankful!
As these things go, and as my family knows all too well, any joy can and will be met with deep sadness. My dad was a fisherman, an army veteran, an advocate for our local public school, a vocal proponent of the benefits of apple cider vinegar, a loving husband, a survivor. I love my dad.
For those of you in the area, and those who simply want to know what's going on regarding my father's visitation and funeral, please check out the Caring Bridge site for details.
Thank you to EVERYONE who has prayed with us, spent time with us, and kept up with this whole journey. We couldn't have done it with out you, and we thank God that He put you all in our lives.
2nd Corinthians
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
Update on my Dad
Hey everyone,
If you haven't heard by now, I want to let you know that my dad passed away last night as peacefully as he possibly could. His peaceful passing is what we had been praying for, and we are so thankful that it happened that way.
I may write something more detailed later, but I'm still not sure about that right now.
For those of you who have been receiving these updates primarily via e-mail, I will probably be ending that method communication regarding this topic very soon. I can't imagine writing much more about this other than stories and memories, which I think are better suited for a blog than a large group e-mail.
For further details regarding the visitation/wake and the funeral, they will be posted on the Caring Bridge site, http://www.caringbridge.org/
Thank you,
everyone,
for your support and prayer over the last month.
It's been more than what we could have asked for.
I love you all, and God Bless.
If you haven't heard by now, I want to let you know that my dad passed away last night as peacefully as he possibly could. His peaceful passing is what we had been praying for, and we are so thankful that it happened that way.
I may write something more detailed later, but I'm still not sure about that right now.
For those of you who have been receiving these updates primarily via e-mail, I will probably be ending that method communication regarding this topic very soon. I can't imagine writing much more about this other than stories and memories, which I think are better suited for a blog than a large group e-mail.
For further details regarding the visitation/wake and the funeral, they will be posted on the Caring Bridge site, http://www.caringbridge.org/
Thank you,
everyone,
for your support and prayer over the last month.
It's been more than what we could have asked for.
I love you all, and God Bless.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Prayer for my Dad - Update
Hey Everyone.
Just an update for all of you.
The last week with my dad has been both completely great and completely difficult.
I'll start with the positive.
The Completely Great.
I can hardly imagine anyone denying God while being on their deathbed, but I can acknowledge that it can happen.
Thank God in Heaven - my dad believes in Him.
My dad and I have had three distinct conversations where he acknowledged all of the following:
- his sins
- his repentance from sin and his need for a savior
- Jesus Christ as his Savior and Lord
- God's provision of a savior through his Son's death and resurrection.
Praise God.
If you've read the book "Heaven Is for Real" or have been in a similar situation as ours, you may know why that last sentence was written with a period and not an exclamation point. Great joy combined with great sadness leads to a refreshed faith with a somber heart.
The Completely Difficult.
I started on my way home on Tuesday unaware of what I was about to face.
My dad's decline has been exponentially fast, something that has caught us all by some degree of surprise. We knew this time would come, but we could only imagine - not expect - how it would be. Dad now only has moments of clarity, no movement at all in his left arm and leg, and takes four different medicines for his seizures. The days here range from watching him sleep to devising all sorts of "reasonable" explanations for dad not to get out of bed - something that could end up being fatal for him when he would inevitably fall. FYI: Dad's on blood thinners still for the clot in his leg - see the last post for more info on that.
Prayer is still needed.
We know Dad doesn't have much time left, but we have no idea when that time will be up. What we need prayer for now is that my dad would remember that he has a place secured in heaven (John 14:6, Romans 10:9). This is difficult for him to do, considering the nature of his disease and what complications it's causing on his brain. My dad also need prayer for a peaceful passing. He is in a lot of pain and is either unwilling or unable to express that pain to us. He is also losing much of his cognitive abilities, which makes the days hard on him and on us. Finally, please pray for us, that we would be under God's protection during this challenging phase of our lives.
Thanks for the support from everyone. We definitely appreciate it.
Just an update for all of you.
The last week with my dad has been both completely great and completely difficult.
I'll start with the positive.
The Completely Great.
I can hardly imagine anyone denying God while being on their deathbed, but I can acknowledge that it can happen.
Thank God in Heaven - my dad believes in Him.
My dad and I have had three distinct conversations where he acknowledged all of the following:
- his sins
- his repentance from sin and his need for a savior
- Jesus Christ as his Savior and Lord
- God's provision of a savior through his Son's death and resurrection.
Praise God.
If you've read the book "Heaven Is for Real" or have been in a similar situation as ours, you may know why that last sentence was written with a period and not an exclamation point. Great joy combined with great sadness leads to a refreshed faith with a somber heart.
The Completely Difficult.
I started on my way home on Tuesday unaware of what I was about to face.
My dad's decline has been exponentially fast, something that has caught us all by some degree of surprise. We knew this time would come, but we could only imagine - not expect - how it would be. Dad now only has moments of clarity, no movement at all in his left arm and leg, and takes four different medicines for his seizures. The days here range from watching him sleep to devising all sorts of "reasonable" explanations for dad not to get out of bed - something that could end up being fatal for him when he would inevitably fall. FYI: Dad's on blood thinners still for the clot in his leg - see the last post for more info on that.
Prayer is still needed.
We know Dad doesn't have much time left, but we have no idea when that time will be up. What we need prayer for now is that my dad would remember that he has a place secured in heaven (John 14:6, Romans 10:9). This is difficult for him to do, considering the nature of his disease and what complications it's causing on his brain. My dad also need prayer for a peaceful passing. He is in a lot of pain and is either unwilling or unable to express that pain to us. He is also losing much of his cognitive abilities, which makes the days hard on him and on us. Finally, please pray for us, that we would be under God's protection during this challenging phase of our lives.
Thanks for the support from everyone. We definitely appreciate it.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Prayers for my Dad
****I sent this message to some of you recently, but I think it'd be good to put this on here so more people can know and possibly be helped by our family's experience in the future. Also, it gives a little information to those who have seen this news via other members of my family.
I know this isn't the best way to go about sharing this news, but I want to let people know what's up with my father, especially those who have either been a big part of John's and my life, those who primarily know me and have gotten to know about my dad's situation for a very long time, or a combination of both.
For many, many years - well more than anyone in my family or my father's medical team could have predicted - my dad has been fighting stage 3 brain cancer. After three surgeries, four or five series of chemo, and lots and lots of meds for his seizures and nearly any other kind of symptom he could possibly have, the cancer has finally started to progress at a significant rate.
We found out on June 8th that the tumor growth has crossed into the other part of my dad's brain. This past Monday, my dad was hospitalized for a blood clot that was brought on by the brain cancer - something neither we nor my father's neurologist could have predicted without the help of an otherwise unnecessary vascular physician. The clot spans the length of his leg and is particularly bad around the back of his knee. We're thankful the doctors were able to find this, and we hope that the clot can be controlled.
Many times in the past, I have asked people for prayers for my dad. I've asked for prayer that he'd make it through a surgery, that he'd get through yet another session of chemo, that he'd be relieved of his seizures. Now, I am asking for prayers for his faith in Christ. It's not common that a person and their loved ones get a "warning sign" for when their life is about to come to an end. I pray that, with this warning sign, my dad will find hope and peace in Christ's salvation, and have the saving knowledge of God's grace. If you feel so lead, please pray with me that these things come to fruition and that my dad has a peaceful exit out of this world and into the arms of God when that time comes.
As a side note, we have no idea how soon the end will be. Medical timelines have lost any sense of credibility when it has come to my dad's journey with this disease.
Finally, I'm sorry that this message is going out to people electronically instead of from me verbally. While the last couple days have been a lot better for me emotionally, it's become really difficult knowing what to say and then having to say these things over and over again. Also, if I haven't talked to you on the phone in the last 7 months, I don't currently have your number in my new phone. Yes, I still haven't transferred my numbers, and yes, I have finally misplaced my old phone. I haven't lost it yet, however...that's to be determined. Let's just say it wasn't a good idea to try to use my old phone as a separate contact list.
Thank you for your prayers and support over the months/years/decades. I really appreciate it! If you have any questions at all, please feel free to ask. I hope that sharing this experience can be a blessing to someone in the future.
I know this isn't the best way to go about sharing this news, but I want to let people know what's up with my father, especially those who have either been a big part of John's and my life, those who primarily know me and have gotten to know about my dad's situation for a very long time, or a combination of both.
For many, many years - well more than anyone in my family or my father's medical team could have predicted - my dad has been fighting stage 3 brain cancer. After three surgeries, four or five series of chemo, and lots and lots of meds for his seizures and nearly any other kind of symptom he could possibly have, the cancer has finally started to progress at a significant rate.
We found out on June 8th that the tumor growth has crossed into the other part of my dad's brain. This past Monday, my dad was hospitalized for a blood clot that was brought on by the brain cancer - something neither we nor my father's neurologist could have predicted without the help of an otherwise unnecessary vascular physician. The clot spans the length of his leg and is particularly bad around the back of his knee. We're thankful the doctors were able to find this, and we hope that the clot can be controlled.
Many times in the past, I have asked people for prayers for my dad. I've asked for prayer that he'd make it through a surgery, that he'd get through yet another session of chemo, that he'd be relieved of his seizures. Now, I am asking for prayers for his faith in Christ. It's not common that a person and their loved ones get a "warning sign" for when their life is about to come to an end. I pray that, with this warning sign, my dad will find hope and peace in Christ's salvation, and have the saving knowledge of God's grace. If you feel so lead, please pray with me that these things come to fruition and that my dad has a peaceful exit out of this world and into the arms of God when that time comes.
As a side note, we have no idea how soon the end will be. Medical timelines have lost any sense of credibility when it has come to my dad's journey with this disease.
Finally, I'm sorry that this message is going out to people electronically instead of from me verbally. While the last couple days have been a lot better for me emotionally, it's become really difficult knowing what to say and then having to say these things over and over again. Also, if I haven't talked to you on the phone in the last 7 months, I don't currently have your number in my new phone. Yes, I still haven't transferred my numbers, and yes, I have finally misplaced my old phone. I haven't lost it yet, however...that's to be determined. Let's just say it wasn't a good idea to try to use my old phone as a separate contact list.
Thank you for your prayers and support over the months/years/decades. I really appreciate it! If you have any questions at all, please feel free to ask. I hope that sharing this experience can be a blessing to someone in the future.
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