Saturday, August 20, 2011

prelude: stories about Dad and, really, anything else.

It's hard for me to write when
it comes to really difficult topics -
topics that are difficult to express out loud or
even in my own thoughts.

So, as I prepare to embark upon documenting some things I want to remember
and things I hope others can use for their future struggles,
please pray that I find leading by the Spirit,
clarity of thought,
and ease of composition.

Because if there are a few things that are true about me, it's that
1. I don't think at all before I speak except for when I'm about to say the wrong things (extrovert),
2. When I speak aloud (and when I write) it's easy for nothing to be cognitively linear, and
3. When I write (not when I speak), it's hard for me not to let go of some of the rules
one learns when they study and teach in the field I have studied and taught.

I'm not going to write everything down here at this very moment, so
please forgive me for this obvious delay of the actual substance of my message.
I don't intend to draw you back through some blogging ploy. 

I'm hoping that,
with this little prefix to something more substantial and ongoing,
I can find a bit of courage to keep writing.

If I don't write,
my thoughts become muted and dim.
If I don't write,
my memories become distant and indistinguishable.

So, the next time I write on here, it might be about something particularly important
or completely not,
but I will write about these current and upcoming struggles.
They are struggles I just don't want to forget.

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