So, I'm pregnant, and the baby's a girl. My husband I are very excited, and everything seems to be going well so far. So, why don't we first get into the things that everyone seems to either say or want to know about and then get into some more of the less obvious items that have been suffering from being stuck inside of me. I just want to say stuff out loud (via written word), so here it goes.
Table of contents
a. the physical stuff
b. the emotional/reflective stuff
3. Speaking of jobs...
4. Theology. Theology III
6. Conclusion: Random thoughts for the night
1. Pregnancy -
A. The physical stuff.
I'm getting bigger - almost bigger than I've ever been, and it's weird for me (more on that later). I have had no cravings other than what I always crave (chocolate) and what I just, in general, enjoy (fatty foods).
On top of that, I can't handle overly bitter things and anything that I remotely decide isn't "good" while eating it. What I mean by that is that if I'm enjoying a delicious sandwich, and then I suddenly decide that the tomato in the sandwich is not so good, my body will literally revolt if I try to keep eating said tomatoes. So that's fun! But really, I have had an easy pregnancy, and I'm very thankful. I know that isn't what many women get to experience, and I do acknowledge that this may not be the case if we get pregnant again!
B. The emotional/reflective stuff.
Thoughts I have had/statements I have made:
- Our pregnancy was a total surprise for us. This may not make all that much sense, but it's true - 3.5 years of trying makes eventually dismiss the possibility most of the time.
- It is hard not to be scared that something bad will happen still, but so far I'm very thankful that the baby looks healthy and is a long-limbed, squirmy little bugger.
- We didn't end up getting any medical treatment, although we did start the process to receive it.
- I have strong theological and philosophical convictions about the statements "worth the wait," "God's perfect timing," and "this shows that all you had to do was...". I may explain those some other time, but for now I just want to say that I've realized how important it is to be conscientious with these phrases.
- It's amazing how people will instantly make comments about weight and image to a woman when she's pregnant and would never do that to someone else who was not with child. I am sure I've been guilty of this.
- Knowing the sex/gender of my child didn't all of a sudden make her seem human - it was seeing her profile. The nose - it almost took me out.
- Seeing that our baby is a girl was a very bittersweet thing. We are loving this now, but of course a boy would have been awesome, too. There's a story to this, but we are happy with what God has designed.
- It's incredible how quickly things start to not fit, as in - I have started to pop, and it's an other-worldly experience.
- Speaking of other-worldly, some pants I had that I could literally have fall off now look like I'm trying to show anyone and everyone that I do, in fact, have two butt cheeks.
- The hardest thing so far: knowing my daughter won't know my dad.
- The best thing so far: John has been an amazing husband this whole time.
So for the past (almost) year, I have been advising the scholarship chairwoman of the Eta Nu chapter of Kappa Alpha Theta. It's been a great experience so far, but definitely one with it's obstacles. All I have to say is that I a.) am thankful that I learned that "saying no" is a very good thing when it comes to time committments, that b.) I am hopeful that these women will see the value in improving the atmosphere of learning in their chapter, and c.) that I am so thankful for being able to work with these women individually and collectively. I can't teach right now (which is natural, since I don't have a teaching job!), and this is a fairly similar hybrid to teaching/coaching. I hope that I can be a light in the lives of these women.
3. Speaking of jobs...
Well hey, I'm having a kid, and the whole job situation is up in the air. It would be awesome to be able to do something from home, but I'm leaving the maternity leave option at my current job open as a just-in-case measure. The length of time that Trinity gives for maternity leave is generous, but they require a six-month work commitment in order to not have to pay the income back for that time. So, to the few people who might still subscribe to this blog, if you have any ideas for work-from-home jobs, please let me know, and extra 100 points to you if it's not administrative/secretarial! Long and short of it - that kind of work is not congruent with how I'm wired. I know - I've been doing it for almost 3 years.
4. Theology. Theology III.
That's a little bit of a James Bond reference as far as subtitle style goes.
Anyway, I'm taking a class with John right now titled Systematic Theology III - The Holy Spirit, the Church, and End Times. It is some interesting stuff, people, and let me tell you, the Church doesn't talk enough about the Holy Spirit, the Church could use a good history course to help it understand how its various members have served in the past, and I still think that the pre-tribulation, pre-millenial view of end times is the best one, although I haven't learned much about it yet.
I might write more later about that, but for now I need to read about women's role in the Church and sort through the idea that even leading complementarian scholars would say that many of the churches I've been a part of have some more work to do. Long and short of it, my brain and heart have been a bit shaken, if not stirred.
Ok, let's take a different turn and talk about fashion - first, maternity fashion, and then it's on to one other sartorial comment.
Maternity - Maternity fashion needs to be more colorful, not so neutral/dark. No woman wants to look like a raincloud. Also, I am trying to figure out how to stay warm come December, January, February, and March. Sundresses won't cut it, but a $100 coat is out of the question. I'm very thankful, however, for the Goodwills and Salvation Armys in the Chicago Northern Suburbs as well as all the highly affluent individuals who donate to them.
Other comment - Has anyone else noticed that young female fashion is almost the same in length and tightness as to what waitresses wear at Hooters? I'm not kidding - the next time you see a Hooters ad, look at what the women wear for shorts. It's the same thing. Our young women have been convinced that they are as functional as someone who is told to make sure to bend at the waist in order to get more tips.
6. Conclusion: Random thoughts for the night
This Colts/Broncos game is emotionally conflicting.
Wes Welker looks a little bit like a shark.
NFL lip reading is the funniest video on YouTube, and the fact that those guys (most likely) are the ones who made the newest McDonald's commercial makes me quite happy.
I'm tired of losing in Fantasy Football, and I certainly hope that won't happen again this week.
I just found out that Carrie Underwood is the lead in the live version of Sound of Music, airing on NBC on Dec. 5th. IF those producers make that musical, in any way, with so much as a riff of country twang, I will protest.
Reactionary medical warning is not a good thing, nor is "just in case" medical approaches that have little proven benefit but plenty of hype.
The country/woods/nature trumps city and dominates suburbia.
Big men pretending to be birds in celebration of football sacks are a funny sight.
A close study of Colossians will rock your life.
Cramps during pregnancy are not necessarily gas - they are possibly signaling the continental shift that is occurring within your body.
I wish I craved pickles. I never have really liked pickles, and I wish I did!
11:00 p.m. comes too soon.
Goodnight, everyone, and thanks for reading!