Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Tomorrow I'll be publishing a post about what infertility feels like.

It's something I've googled before, and why?

Well, infertility - the feeling of enduring it - is hard to put into words.

So I want to write this post beforehand to let anyone know who wants to know
that there are plenty of things for which I am thankful despite
the very difficult experience of trying to conceive.

I am so thankful for the kids who live on campus here and in our community.
There are just some precious little ones who light up my day,
and they are the cutest things.
When my friend Heather's girl, Rachel (2 years old) remembered
my name after not seeing me for almost a month,
well, that just lit up my day.
Not only that, but it really lit up my day when she then
proceeded to tell me where babies come from:
"My baby brother will come out of my mommy's tummy!
And you - when you were a baby, you came out of your mommy's tummy!"
What a cutie!

I'm thankful for the blessing of John's brother and his wife being pregnant
and due this summer.  We are excited to be aunt and uncle, and
it's nothing but surreal for us.  This little one will be smart as a whip
and tall as a bean stalk.  The doctors already have him or her measuring about
a week ahead of schedule.

I'm thankful that I have my husband.
He's been more than encouraging these last several months.
He also does great at putting up with me and my...crap.
Crap is the easiest way to say it.
Anyway, he's a winner, that's for sure.  I'm so glad he's my husband.

I got to talk to my sister twice last week.
That's getting into record-breaking territory!
I'm thankful that we are able to talk more now that
her college schedule is winding down.
That, or I was thankful to talk to her because she was
still on break!

I'm thankful for my mom.  She has been
really compassionate throughout this whole infertility ordeal,
and she is patient with me when I talk about the same things
for the 200,786th time.

I'm thankful that we're here at TIU.
It's hard to imagine a more encouraging environment,
and it's incredible to feel that after a difficult start last year.
I have a distinct feeling that, as challenging as this place can be,
it also has a "cradling" effect; once we're back
out in the real world completely, it will be
quite the transition!

I'm thankful for God,
that, no matter how far away I get,
He's there.  He's there
and I'm pretty sure He's just waiting for me
to take some kind of leap of faith into his will for me.
Don't ask me what that would be; I don't know.
I just feel it.

So those are some things I'm thankful for.

It's good to write this down when it's hard to see the silver lining at times.

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